Dant breaks personal speaking record

Annapolis, MD.

In a surprise visit to King Hall today, the Commandant of Midshipmen, Captain Bruce Grooms, broke his all-time record of 15 words spoken in a single minute. Sources tell the Fork "He sounded so excited that I thought he might pass out." Notorious for his use of repetition and awkward pauses, the former basketball star positively raced through what appeared to be a motivational speech.

When asked about the possibility of future fast-paced talks, Bruce replied, "I...do...not...know...if...I ...can...keep...up...this...pace" Shortly after this interview, the Dant was taken to a nearby hospital for high blood pressure and a mild hernia.