2/C Accidentally Calls Ring His "Precious"

Mortar, MD-

Second-class midshipmen received their rings yesterday and Wednesday in one of the most highly anticipated events of the year. Among those third year midshipmen was 2/C Gaulle of Mortar, Maryland. Roommate Eli Ford reports that shortly after receiving his ring, Gaulle rushed up to his room and hid in the closet.

Ford confronted Gaulle and kept a microrecorder in his pocket to record the conversation. The following is a transcript of the recorded discussion.


Rustling as Ford Opens Closet

F: Umm, Gaulle? What are you doing?
G: Examining my ring.
F: Okay, doesn't really explain why you're in the closet, but cool. Can I see?
G: NO! No... This ring is mine. My own. My precious...
F: You are acting really f-cking weird.

Hissing noises, sound of closet slamming shut.


Midshipmen across the brigade report similar incidents of second-class succumbing to the power of their rings. The spell is predicted to pass by the beginning of next week, when the rings must be hidden away until the proper time.