Cleaning Thingy- "I do all the damn work around here"

Annapolis, MD-

Cleaning Machine (Serial #034CV6179)threatened to go on strike earlier today when workers failed to refill its soap tank. A valued asset to the cleaning community, Cleaning Machine cleans Bancroft Hall's floors on a daily basis. "You should see some of the crap that I have to clean up. Gum, mouse droppings, pubic hair- I mean seriously, where does this shit come from?" Coworkers agree with Cleaning Machine, pointing out that it does about 75% of the work in Bancroft Hall. Jimbo, an 8th wing cleaning staff member said, "Hi guys! You want to talk to ME? Cheerios!" After managing to calm the excitable cleaning man down, the Navy Fork elicited this response from Jimbo, "The cleaning machine is kind of scary, but it does an excellent job."

Workers eventually refilled Cleaning Machine's soap tank and presented it with a "Sex Machine: I work it" sticker. The Navy Fork is happy to report that Cleaning Machine is back to work, scrubbing away at midshipman filth.