Midshipman Suspicious of Roommate's Secretive Activity

Bancroft Hall-

"She's got some dirty little secret, I just know it," says Midshipmen 4/C Ashley Butley of 15th company. "I think she's hiding something... or someone... in her con locker." Ashley's suspicions first arose when she woke in the middle of the night last month to find her roommate, Stephanie Shader, whispering into her closet about cheddar cheese popcorn.

"I was half-asleep, because it was like 3 in the morning, but I swear I saw a guy's face. He had a goatee and horn-rim glasses. Isn't that weird? Steph fed him part of a snickers bar and then he kinda shimmied back into the con locker. I don't know though, I was pretty tired."

Ms. Shader denies the allegation that she is hiding a goateed, horn-rim glasses wearing Johnny in her confidential locker. "Ew, I don't even like horn-rim glasses. Ashley just needs to chillax." 4/C Butley insists that something is awry in her room. In a press release, she admitted to hearing ghostly recitations of Jack Kerouac at odd times throughout the day. Ms. Butley also reported finding wistful, and curiously bohemian love notes on the area surrounding Stephanie Shader's desk.