Zagat Rates King Hall

Annapolis, MD-

In an unprecedented move for the famous Zagat survey, the company granted a rating of 2 out of 30 to the midshipmen wardroom. A spokesperson for Zagat expounded on the grade, "2/30 is generous. I would pay money never to set foot in there again."

2 surveyors disguised as teachers entered King Hall sometime last week during Army Week's festivities. The following is an excerpt from Zagat's survey of King Hall.

"The first thing we noticed was the terrible service. Service with a smile? Maybe. But habla ingles? NO COMPRENDO. We finally managed to get seats, next to some attractive young men dressed like undertakers, but we were so crammed together we had to take turns eating so our arms wouldn't bump together.

Now to the meat of things. The servers brought out chicken in silver cans that looked like bedpans. Believe us here, chicken should not taste like cold sores. We ate because we were starving, but we couldn't even finish because the servers took our food before we finished. One server actually bit my arm.

The only saving grace to this mess of a hall was the clientele it attracts. Those young men and women have the chilling effect of scaring you and attracting you at the same time. We'd love to chew their chickens. Because we're food critics and we're probably gay. Probably."

The survey allows King Hall to display official Zagat stickers on its windows.