John Paul Jones A "Lazy Son of a Bitch"

USNA Chapel-

Allegations rose last week when several Australian tourists visited famed naval hero, John Paul Jones, in his crypt. The visitors remarked, "What the hell is this? The mate's just lying there, lazy son of a bitch." A second-class midshipman on crypt watch stood at the entrance at parade rest and said nothing. The Navy Fork caught up with him after his 4 hours of brain-rot. "Frankly, they're right. All he does is lay there. He's not a very good conversationalist either."

John Paul Jones is celebrated by historians and no one else as the "Father of the United States Navy" and has defeated many mighty ships for no good reason. After a career of seadogging and battling the Serapis, Mr. Jones retired to a life of quiet meditation. He currently resides in Annapolis, MD. where he does jack shit.