Nebraska Native Wishes It Was Colder

Annapolis, MD-

Professor Jim Jensen of Omaha, Nebraska, is severely disappointed with his first winter in Annapolis. Apparently, the temperature falls just short of brisk for the husky, bearded, political science professor. "Hrmmmrmm. I'm sweating under the thick hair that covers approximately 85% of my body. Here's a fun fact: I'm starting to smell like spiced meatloaf." Colleagues liken the professor to Viking marauders of yore.

Temperatures for Annapolis have ranged from the high 20's to the low 30's, with winds at 10-15 mph, for the whole month. Still, Professor Jensen longs for his idea of a perfect winter. "You know it's good when there's icicles on your beard and your alcoholic piss freezes before it hits the ground."