USNA Seeks New Ways to Decrease Enrollment
Annapolis, MD-
An overabundance of junior officers in the United States Navy in recent years has prompted the Naval Academy to decrease the size of its brigade of midshipmen. Vice Admiral Rodney "Papa Guinea" Rempt suggests a holistic approach to lowering numbers. "We want to look at this holistically, meaning that we'll do everything to discourage these mids morally, mentally, and physically."
The superintendent and his staff have been looking for staff to do just that, seeking the cruelest, stupidest, sloppiest people to head the Supe's new missions. Amongst those in consideration for the position of "Head of Moral Degradation" are former dictator Saddam Hussein, whose long history of genocide, torture, and mustaches puts him near the top of the pool, and Michael Jackson, former pop star turned wicked child molester. In seeming contradiction to the creation of an atmosphere of lax morals, the Superintendent also wants to hire new honor staff, whose primary job will be to "jack shit up." Joey Galvani, an Italian mobster and honor staff candidate states, "Here's how I'm gonna do this. You lie, I slit your tongue down the middle. You cheat, I break your ribs with a crow bar. You steal, and I cut your fucking fingers off."
The head of mental degradation will be playboy bunny turned stupid whore, Anna Nicole Smith. She promises to teach important things like how to seduce old men then fail to get their money and how to arrange your own son's death.
Finally, the head of the physical degradation department is Col. David Fuqueau.
An overabundance of junior officers in the United States Navy in recent years has prompted the Naval Academy to decrease the size of its brigade of midshipmen. Vice Admiral Rodney "Papa Guinea" Rempt suggests a holistic approach to lowering numbers. "We want to look at this holistically, meaning that we'll do everything to discourage these mids morally, mentally, and physically."
The superintendent and his staff have been looking for staff to do just that, seeking the cruelest, stupidest, sloppiest people to head the Supe's new missions. Amongst those in consideration for the position of "Head of Moral Degradation" are former dictator Saddam Hussein, whose long history of genocide, torture, and mustaches puts him near the top of the pool, and Michael Jackson, former pop star turned wicked child molester. In seeming contradiction to the creation of an atmosphere of lax morals, the Superintendent also wants to hire new honor staff, whose primary job will be to "jack shit up." Joey Galvani, an Italian mobster and honor staff candidate states, "Here's how I'm gonna do this. You lie, I slit your tongue down the middle. You cheat, I break your ribs with a crow bar. You steal, and I cut your fucking fingers off."
The head of mental degradation will be playboy bunny turned stupid whore, Anna Nicole Smith. She promises to teach important things like how to seduce old men then fail to get their money and how to arrange your own son's death.
Finally, the head of the physical degradation department is Col. David Fuqueau.
posted by ditdahdahdit at 18:34
<< Home